Would You Even Know If You Were In a Cult?
Why Every Spiritual Seeker Should Understand the Spectrum of Groupthink
Let me start by placing myself properly, as an insider, not an outsider. This matters. Because it’s easy to critique from the outside, to pathologize what you don’t understand. But I live inside this world. I am part of a religious community. Multiple, in fact. I’m deeply committed to spiritual practice. I believe in sangha and circle. I also think every religious or spiritual person should understand how cult mentalities work.
Because groupthink is a spectrum, and we’re all on it, whether we know it or not. As Amanda Montell writes in Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism, “Cult influence is a matter of degrees, not binaries. You don’t have to drink the Kool-Aid or shave your head to be in a cultish group; you just have to be vulnerable to influence—and we all are.”
Let’s call your book club a 1 on the cultish scale, some wine, some lightly toxic Goodreads opinions, nobody gets hurt. And Jonestown is an 11: mass death by charismatic coercion. But somewhere around a 3 or 4? The startup with a visionary founder and no HR. The founder talks about “changing the world” but can’t make eye contact. People call the office “the space.” You’re expected to work weekends because “it’s not work if you love it,” and when someone quits, they’re spoken of like a defector from the cause. No one’s technically forcing you to chant, but you do have to clap after every all-hands meeting.
But even your book club needs a touch of group think to function. You agree to show up on a certain day. You probably read the same book. There might be snacks. There are gentle expectations, if you show up every week and only want to talk about your dog, someone might say, “Hey, this is a book club.” That’s a light form of social contract.
Philosophers like Hobbes, Rousseau, and Locke introduced social contract theory as a way to understand how humans form societies: the idea is that individuals consent (explicitly or implicitly) to surrender some freedoms in exchange for protection and order. It’s the philosophical scaffolding behind modern governance, law, and community norms. In other words, if you weren’t all willing to compromise on whatever book the group chose and make space in your schedule for the agreed-upon time, there wouldn’t be wine and charcuterie board-fueled book talk.
But let’s be clear: those same thinkers helped justify colonialism and white supremacy under the guise of "civilization." They were even culpable of harmful groupthink themselves, shaping a supposedly universal philosophy while excluding the global majority. As Charles W. Mills writes in The Racial Contract, “White misunderstanding, misrepresentation, evasion, and self-deception… are not incidental to the social contract but are themselves part of its substance.”So while the idea of a shared agreement about values and norms can help us understand healthy group dynamics, we also need to interrogate who gets to shape that contract—and why.
As Amanda Montell reminds us, “Cults are not freakish aberrations. They're part of our cultural fabric.” This means we don’t have to be in a full-blown cult to be swimming in cultish waters. Language, group norms, charismatic authority … these are everywhere. And they’re powerful because they’re often invisible to us.
Somewhere between 3 and 7 is where most spiritual communities fall. That’s not a bad thing. We need collective values. We need agreements. But we also need critical awareness—because when a spiritual community can’t tolerate questions, dissent, or deviation from the norm, it begins to slide down the scale.
Janja Lalich, Ph.D., sociologist and cult expert, defines a cult as a group with a shared commitment to a charismatic leader or ideology where the group’s dynamics suppress individuality and independent thought. She writes:
“A cult is a group or movement with a shared commitment to an ideology that is typically embodied in a charismatic leader. It requires a high level of commitment from members and uses thought-reform techniques to recruit and retain them.” (Lalich, 2004)
Let’s break that down. “High commitment” doesn’t mean you go to potluck once a month. It means you start believing your group is the only safe, true, or enlightened way. You cut off relationships. You suppress doubt. You accept harm because “the teacher knows best.”
So here’s exactly why I study cults: because I believe in spiritual life. And I don’t want it to be weaponized.
I want to know the signs of undue influence. I want to recognize the shift from shared values to coercion. I want to know when I’m being love-bombed. When “devotion” is masking control. When transparency becomes surveillance. When “accountability” is just another word for fear.
Because if you’ve never studied cult dynamics, you might miss it when it’s happening to you, or worse, you might perpetuate it. Montell puts it plainly: “The line between influence and control is thin, and sometimes, it's only visible in retrospect.”
Here are a few signs a group may be veering toward cult-like behavior (adapted from Lalich’s framework and Amanda Montell’s analysis in Cultish):
Charismatic leadership that is difficult to question
The group claims exclusive access to truth or salvation
Discouragement of critical thinking or outside influence
Elitism: the group sees itself as superior to others
Us-vs-them mentality
Excessive loyalty tests, guilt, or fear around leaving
Information control (you’re discouraged from reading criticism or asking questions)
Specialized or insular language that shapes perception and discourages questioning
Secrecy or layers of hidden knowledge only for the “worthy”
Exploitation of members’ time, labor, or finances for the benefit of leadership
To be clear: not every tight-knit group is a cult. But every group that asks for trust and commitment should be accountable to how it uses influence.
Studying cults has made me a more careful joiner, and a more awake practitioner. And I want that for everyone.
Because community is powerful. And so is coercion.
In spiritual solidarity,
🧿Alexandra ✨